My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't think brook has ever known best
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you had me at cake vodka
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
