Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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