But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
