I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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