everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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