Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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