Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
