1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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