The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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