Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
