no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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