I didn't shave. On purpose
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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