I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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