I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
