Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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