What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
