had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
