Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
