We won't sleep together?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
