we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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