I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
