its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
