I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
