I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
