If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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