Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
