I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
