Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
