Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
