This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
