Your tits are I can't wait for
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
