I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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