Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
