Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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