so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
