I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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