i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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