My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
