i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
