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too bad you live with your parents still
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize