How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
