and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
