i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
