why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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