I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
