They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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