Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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