He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That's how pantless uber rides happen
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
