His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
