He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
